Life Update June 2010

For those of you who like to have updates I am posting this. For those of you who like my stories that one is next.

I would like to point out that the only reason I have the time to post this is because I am working our conference. I have been tasked with making sure the powerpoint is running properly. No really I am tasked with making sure the AV students run the powerpoint properly. Which is ridiculous because I have no clue what I am doing and they totally know everything :). But hey I have time to catch up. All day. Just sitting behind the big screen with all of the buttons and computers like the wizard in wizard of oz. Fun, fun FUN! :)

So with the boys? Some of you have not heard from me in a long time and if it weren't for the fact that my name has not been reported in the obituaries you would have thought I had kicked the bucket. Gosh, that's a crude way of saying it. But - I said it. what's been up with me? What's been up with the boys? What has been up???

Well, I haven't kicked the bucket. I am not ignoring any of you. I am not hiding out. I PROMISE. I have really been busy. If I remember correctly this happened to me last year at the same time, but I think this year is 10 times worst. Honestly. I think mathematically I could prove it.

So in short - Jonah had his first reconciliation, first communion received his scapular, gave his first oral report, turned another year older (8), rode his first big roller coaster, made the ELITE soccer team and finished the second grade. Noah, ok I am not going to list all of his trouble he has gotten into, was there with his brother through all of his first stuff, got pinched by a crawfish he caught while camping, ate the crawfish after I boiled it, has signed up for football again, is competing in a national singing contest, rode the diamond back at kings island, wrote his first story, became an expert in Pandora, learned how to cook ramen noodles and finished the third grade. I have tried to keep up with all of this, coordinated the pine wood derby cars, Jesus day bags and first communion bannerAND assisted on putting on two conferences. I don't think I have had an unscheduled weekend since the before my vegas trip in February. Honestly. I think my weekends are scheduled until sometime in July.

Currently the boys are out of town for three weeks. One week so I can work my butt off (well work long hours writing my blog!) during this conference, then two weeks because their favorite aunt in Louisiana is going to be in town with their favorite niece and nephew. We have so much planned already for that trip. But don't worry. While they are gone I won't get any me time. I started out without them Saturday and that was jammed packed with me and Pierre celebrating my birthday month. Yes, we were celebrating my birthday MONTH. Ok so maybe that is me time, but I mean - just relax me time. Then Sunday I worked all day at conference center getting set up. Now the conference. Then this weekend is the boys going away party so - i have to figure out how to get them from Granny Hallie's to Mom's house so that she can bring them home for the party. And I have to get ready for the party. I have done NOTHING! Too damn busy! I mean darn. :)

That is the other thing I am in the middle of.... the move. Getting everything ready for that. For the boys - new school, new doctor, new dentist, new sports teams. For me, well i guess the big thing a change in the drive and learning a new area. And the worst part - the packing and moving. But I can't wait to say goodbye to price hill. I will so miss all of my friends that I so adore, but the neighborhood I will not miss.

I have some pictures to add, hope you enjoy!

pitty, strength and encouragement

Last night, in the middle of pure exhaustion and a long drive to Fairfield, I had time to think. I didn't really want to be thinking. But it happened.

I have been whining this week about everything going on this week. I shouldn't be whining. It's my job. It's only going to last a week. Not my attitude last night. Then I started thinking. When I whine, why do I do it? What is the point? What do I think or want to get out of it?

Whining brings you down. You dwell on the negative. Whining brings the person you are whining to down. Gives them a negative focus on you. Whining seems so counterproductive. Why in the hell am I doing it?

I hate pitty. HATE it. There have been some things that have happened in my life, that it would have helped to talk to people about, but I didn't. I didn't because I was so worried people would pitty me. I don't want pitty. I don't want someone to feel sorry for me. It makes me feel even worse. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me embarrassed. It makes me cry. Don't pitty me!

Because of that, I truly believe that the reason I whine has nothing to do with wanting pitty. So again, why do I whine?

I don't like *fixers*. I don't like when I whine, for someone to try to fix it all for me. I know what I have to do. I am just whining to get it off my chest. I am just whining. Don't try to fix my problems for me. There is just sometimes that life sucks and you just have to get through it and not fix it. If I wanted to know how to fix it - I would ask you. When I whine - I am not asking how to fix it. I am whining! I am not trying to knock the *fixers* out there, because I know they are just doing it because they are trying to help and I think that is so nice and wonderful and really sweet of them. But for me - IT DRIVES ME BONKERS!

At this point I am realizing that maybe I just described why I whine - just to whine, just to get it off my chest. Maybe, my real question should be, how do I want people to respond when I whine?

***side thought*** God, it really is scary in my head!!!

Last night I was whining to Pierre. Yes, I feel sorry for him. I felt so much better after the conversation. So - I am going to use that conversation to try to figure out how I wanted him to respond. I know you are excited now! I already know I would NOT want him to pitty me. I would NOT want him to *fix* it for me. I have always said that I JUST want someone to listen. I still believe that. ESPECIALLY when I complain, gripe, whine or bitch. I am just saying it. I just have to get it out. (the whole point of a blog for me, so I can complain, gripe, whine and bitch - get it all out and not worry about pitty, *fixers* or bringing anyone else down) I think that I just want someone to acknowledge that I am feeling that way, that I am right or ok for feeling that way. Someone to just nodd and agree with me. Just LISTEN.

That is NOT what Pierre did last night. Somehow, I felt so much better after talking to him. CRAZY, CRAZY, I know! I really appreciated it last night. This won't work in every situation, MOST situations I would still just rather have someone listen. I believe the difference is that I wasn't bitching or griping. When I bitch, gripe and complain - I am just frustrated, aggravated and annoyed. I just want to say it. This week, I wasn't sure I could get through the week. It was whining. It was stress. It was pure - not sure how I am going to do this. I needed more than just listen. But still not pity or a *fix*.

He turned my negative, counter productive whining into something encouraging and positive. How does he do it, no one knows! LOL. It really takes a special person to be able to put up with me!

When I complained, when I griped, when I bitched - he listened. THEN - when I whined, when I was sure I couldn't finish the week, he told me how amazing he thought I was. How even though this week was tough, even though lots of other people were going through the same thing, I was doing it, getting my job done and surviving. He was so encouraging. He built me up. Everything I was worried about, he reminded me that I could do it. He offered his help (not that I took him up on it, but it was sweet). Maybe offering help is sort of like a *fixer* but he asked what he could do for me - he didn't say "you should do this, or it might be better if you do this" stuff. He wanted to help me do what I knew I needed to get done, if I needed his help.

He couldn't be there for me to lean on, to rub my feet, to rub my shoulders, to take over with the boys. But his words of encouragement really lifted me up and gave e the strength to keep my butt going.

So I was writing this blog this morning during my conference. I didn't get finished so I am finishing tonite. During the day I found out that even though I declined his offer to help - he took his lunch break and went to the grocery and picked me up toilet paper, bread, milk and lunchables so I would have to make the boys lunch tonite. He did my dishes and left me roses on the table. Amazing. Not the purpose of this blog but I had to add it.

So I was really going to finish all of my thoughts in this blog but I am so out of the mood now. Well at least it kept me busy during the conference, sitting at the AV table supervising the people that knew what to do way more than I did.

Jonah's First Communion

First Communion was beautiful. I had so much fun. Now I am exhausted, but wanted to post some pictures. I will blog more about soon. PROMISE :) And if you want to see all of the pics here they are: Leslie's Picasa