pure stubborness

I realize I was a little stubborn as a child. But if Noah took after me in that department he got it 100 times worse than I can ever imagine I was. Noah would rather sit in a chair from the time he gets home from school until he goes to bed with no end in sight than clean his room. I need to advice on what to do. I will start from the beginning.

The boys are expected to clean their room. However I let them get away with not doing it for a little while. Then it was time to clean. It was the Sunday before Easter. They had a week to clean it. Should have gotten it done in one evening. I explained to them that they could not have friends over, play on the computer, watch tv or play wii until it was clean. I couldn't take away outside play because its so good for them to play outside.

They refused to clean. In fact I think it got worse. So I told them that if they did not clean I was going to call the Easter bunny and tell him not to come. The boys got scared. Told me they were going to clean. They didn't. The next day I reminded them that the Easter bunny would not be coming if their room did not get cleaned. The day of the deadline came. The room was still not clean. I reminded them that this was their last chance. The Easter bunny was not coming if they did not clean it. In my head I was thinking the Easter bunny would visit but only bring candy.

The little spoiled brats came in the kitchen 5 min later and asked if they could ride their bikes. I reminded them again. They turned around and looked at me and said - "we don't care if the Easter bunny comes or not". I could not believe it! I was fuming. So I was determined the Easter bunny would not come. He didn't. The boys didn't seem to care. Although I can't tell you how terrible of a parent I felt like EVERY TIME someone said to them "what did the Easter bunny bring you?" and they would reply - "the Easter bunny didn't visit me".

I ended up having to clean their room because Mom and Windi were coming in to stay. I couldn't get them to clean for anything - so I HAD to do it.

Then as soon as they left the room was a disaster again. The boys have had to be without the tv, computer, wii and having friends over (or going to friends houses) since the beginning of May. They refused to clean their rooms.

Two weekends ago I had to go to a festival to help out a friend. The boys were going with me. I told the boys that if they could get their room cleaned they would each get $5.00 to spend on anything they wanted. Jonah wanted to clean, Noah didn't. I told Jonah that if he cleaned the whole room he would get all $10.00. He ended up deciding he didn't want to do it. Thats a lot of money to clean your room. Noah told me and my friend that if it was $20.00 he would have done it. I was HORRIFIED. I couldn't believe what a spoiled brat he was. I was so embarrassed.

This past week I decided I was going to do everything I could do to make them clean their room. Starting with Tuesday as soon as they came home they either started cleaning their room or they would sit in a chair until bed. If they chose to clean their room and I found them playing they got their butt spanked (I don't spank often). Noah immediately sat in his chair and said he wasn't cleaning.

I think the little sh*t realized he could sit in his chair while Jonah cleaned and when Jonah was finished he could get up and do whatever he wanted. The chair was better. So I added that if Jonah cleaned the room himself Noah would have to come home everyday for a week after the room was cleaned and sit in the chair until bed time. He chose the chair. I wanted to wring his neck. I can't believe him.

I told him it was his last chance. If he chose to stay there he couldn't wait two hours and then decide to "help" clean his room. So after thinking about it for a few minutes he decided he would clean.

The spank deal was still on. I believe I had to spank them at least 10-15 different times. They were just playing and playing. I was at my witts end. I was out of ideas. I was already trying to help them by splitting up the room to help them start somewhere. Which seemed to help a little at first. But it didn't take long before they were bored of that and started playing again.

I finally decided to tell them they had 45 min. Whatever toys were in the floor after that were going to be thrown away. The didn't seem to care. So every 10 min I came up to tell them how much more time they had and to "get a look at how big the trash bag should be". As time was dwindling down Jonah started freaking out. He kept saying "people paid money for these toys, and you are going to waste their money by throwing the toys away". I was bawling. Noah could have cared less. Poor Jonah was so scared it was going to happen he couldn't pull himself together to clean. Noah could have cared less.

Finally Jonah went over to Noah and attacked him. He was so mad at Noah for not caring. He did what I so felt like I needed to do. Noah was a little shocked. I broke it up and Noah was now ready to help clean. 15 min later - the room was clean. I can't believe it.

So next time I guess I will have to start with threatening to throw their toys away and let Jonah take it all out on Noah. :) I am so thankful I finally got them to clean their room, but I am astonished at the fact it took so much to get them to clean it.

I think I am in for a run for my money. The boys are not bad boys. Actually, they are usually very well behaved - but they are so stinking stubborn - especially Noah.

I didn't give in for any of it. So its not like I was just throwing out threats. I followed through on everything. EVERY THING. The Easter bunny did NOT come. Thats a huge deal for me.

I thought this would get easier. It only gets bigger and different. I would love to hear your parenting struggles, maybe it will help me get ideas on how to handle the boys.