My Feet.

Some of you probably have an idea about what I am going to write about by just seeing my title. Some you may already be giggling. Some of you may already have flashbacks of my feet. Those of you - I would have to say - are my dearest friends. Only you get to experience "my feet". Only you.

For the rest of you - WELCOME to my world. I am going to let you in on a big, embarrassing, secret of mine. My feet stink. No really - my feet STINK. Not just a normal stink. Like feet normally stink. This is an all time CRAZY stink. This is a stink like no other. Like a "walk into a room with my shoes on and people are asking - Oh God, what is that smell?" type of stink. Seriously bad stink. A stink that my dog likes to roll around in, instead of manure. That kind of stink. But hold on a second. I should explain - I come by this naturally. My dad's feet - worse than mine. Yes, seriously - worse than mine. Hard to imagine but they are.

When I was younger it was a big joke. Of course I always tormented my sister with them. Most likely why she HATES feet so much today.
In the summer when we were in my car driving places with friends in the car that were getting on my nerves or acting like fools - I would roll up all of my windows, turn the heat on full blast and take my shoes off and put my foot in front of the vent (yes, while driving). This was especially fun when Angela Shircliff (love you!!) was in the car. She is very dramatic. Of course the whole car would start smelling. Everyone screaming and yelling. It was so much fun. :)

Then as I got a little older (just a little) it became a test for my boyfriends. If they were willing to massage and rub lotion on my feet - they were good enough to keep around for awhile! Maybe that's why I hung on to Aaron for so long!! HaHa!!!

During my marriage. My feet caused some issues during my marriage. At first (during the trying to impress me stage) he was so willing to rub them. To massage them. To put lotion on them. Then it was like a flick of a light switch. He hated them. I actually had the nerve to tell me to wash my feet before I crawled into bed!!!! HA. Maybe if he would have asked - but to tell me!!! So when I would get ticked at him - guess what my feet where near by to help me get my way. :)

So today. Today I am sitting at my desk. I am at my desk wearing my pretty "bejeweled" sandals that I just love wearing. They dress up anything. I got them from my mother-in-law. My toenails are painted a nice deep red. Super sexy with my red shirt and the red beads on my shoes. So, I am sitting at my desk. I decide I want to sit at my desk indian style. So I slip off my shoes, pull my fee up into my chair and I relax.

Suddenly - a voice from the other side of the cubicle starts to speak.
"Does anyone else smell that?" she says.
"Smell what?" My boss (across the cubicle aisle) says.
"I don't know, I just got this big woof of something. Is the refrigerator working?" she says
At this point, I know. I already know. Its my feet. So I quietly slip my feet out of my chair and back into my shoes.
"I think its running, I'll check. I don't smell anything though."
"Come over here to smell it."
So now my boss is walking over to smell it. I am sitting at my desk with my headphones on (nothing playing in them, but people tend to leave me alone while they are in) praying that they do not realize it is coming from my desk. Seriously - how FREAKING embarrassing!
My boss walks over to her desk. "I don't smell anything." The small voice takes a big sniff and says "hmm. I don't smell it anymore either." THANK GOD.

I knew it was all my feet. How CRAZY is that. My feet are that bad. So embarrassed. I guess I will know not to take my shoes off at work anymore!

So now, that is the story of my feet. My story. My feet. No comments needed from the peanut gallery. If you are going to love me, you are going to love my feet. We are packaged deal :)

Hope you have a great day today.

Amanda