mad

Today I am mad at him. He doesn't know it yet but I am. He will know it when I talk to him. He should be scared.

Yeah right. I am a big weeny. Even when I am mad (and I am) I ALWAYS give in. Because what if he says he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I got mad. That's silly. I know. But it is my real thought.

So. Why am I mad? I am mad because he told me that he would text me if he wasn't going to be able to meet up with me at the bar. Did he? No. So... all night at the bar I was waiting for him to walk through the door and for me to run up to him and hug him and kiss him. I was waiting all evening to be able to have a slow dance with him. I didn't get it.

But the real reason this upsets me. Not because he didn't come. Not because I didn't get my dance. Not because I had been looking forward to it all week. But because the roads were really bad. I was worried all night when I realized he didn't show up that something had happened. Something bad had happened. An accident where he could not call me to tell me. For it to be that bad it would have had to been a terrible accident where he was in the hospital. Because there could not possibly be any other excuse for why he did not text, call or show up.

So when I got home my thought was - "God, please let him be ok". So I texted him. I texted him and said "I am worried about you. Roads are bad. I am worried call or text me when you get this." So I waited for a bit. Then it suddenly changed to - "God please let something bad have happened because if it didn't I'm going to have to hurt him!" :)

So around 230 am he calls me. I am sleeping. He is all chipper. And acts like there is nothing wrong. All things are lovely. Birds are singing. So this of course makes me even more mad. But I was asleep and there is no way I can tell him how mad I am. So I didn't. I just got off the phone.

I wake up this morning and he texted at like 4am telling me he misses me. Does he know hes in trouble or is he just being sweet? He probably knows hes in trouble. Although hes usually very sweet too.

Its now 4pm and I haven't talked to him yet. But when I do I will let you know who survives :)