My Feet.

Some of you probably have an idea about what I am going to write about by just seeing my title. Some you may already be giggling. Some of you may already have flashbacks of my feet. Those of you - I would have to say - are my dearest friends. Only you get to experience "my feet". Only you.

For the rest of you - WELCOME to my world. I am going to let you in on a big, embarrassing, secret of mine. My feet stink. No really - my feet STINK. Not just a normal stink. Like feet normally stink. This is an all time CRAZY stink. This is a stink like no other. Like a "walk into a room with my shoes on and people are asking - Oh God, what is that smell?" type of stink. Seriously bad stink. A stink that my dog likes to roll around in, instead of manure. That kind of stink. But hold on a second. I should explain - I come by this naturally. My dad's feet - worse than mine. Yes, seriously - worse than mine. Hard to imagine but they are.

When I was younger it was a big joke. Of course I always tormented my sister with them. Most likely why she HATES feet so much today.
In the summer when we were in my car driving places with friends in the car that were getting on my nerves or acting like fools - I would roll up all of my windows, turn the heat on full blast and take my shoes off and put my foot in front of the vent (yes, while driving). This was especially fun when Angela Shircliff (love you!!) was in the car. She is very dramatic. Of course the whole car would start smelling. Everyone screaming and yelling. It was so much fun. :)

Then as I got a little older (just a little) it became a test for my boyfriends. If they were willing to massage and rub lotion on my feet - they were good enough to keep around for awhile! Maybe that's why I hung on to Aaron for so long!! HaHa!!!

During my marriage. My feet caused some issues during my marriage. At first (during the trying to impress me stage) he was so willing to rub them. To massage them. To put lotion on them. Then it was like a flick of a light switch. He hated them. I actually had the nerve to tell me to wash my feet before I crawled into bed!!!! HA. Maybe if he would have asked - but to tell me!!! So when I would get ticked at him - guess what my feet where near by to help me get my way. :)

So today. Today I am sitting at my desk. I am at my desk wearing my pretty "bejeweled" sandals that I just love wearing. They dress up anything. I got them from my mother-in-law. My toenails are painted a nice deep red. Super sexy with my red shirt and the red beads on my shoes. So, I am sitting at my desk. I decide I want to sit at my desk indian style. So I slip off my shoes, pull my fee up into my chair and I relax.

Suddenly - a voice from the other side of the cubicle starts to speak.
"Does anyone else smell that?" she says.
"Smell what?" My boss (across the cubicle aisle) says.
"I don't know, I just got this big woof of something. Is the refrigerator working?" she says
At this point, I know. I already know. Its my feet. So I quietly slip my feet out of my chair and back into my shoes.
"I think its running, I'll check. I don't smell anything though."
"Come over here to smell it."
So now my boss is walking over to smell it. I am sitting at my desk with my headphones on (nothing playing in them, but people tend to leave me alone while they are in) praying that they do not realize it is coming from my desk. Seriously - how FREAKING embarrassing!
My boss walks over to her desk. "I don't smell anything." The small voice takes a big sniff and says "hmm. I don't smell it anymore either." THANK GOD.

I knew it was all my feet. How CRAZY is that. My feet are that bad. So embarrassed. I guess I will know not to take my shoes off at work anymore!

So now, that is the story of my feet. My story. My feet. No comments needed from the peanut gallery. If you are going to love me, you are going to love my feet. We are packaged deal :)

Hope you have a great day today.

Amanda

My time

Tonite is the first night of one week without the boys.  Tonite is my first night of one week of ME time.  As I got ready for this week I made a lot of plans.  A lot of plans for just me.  I scheduled me time for myself.  Whether it is a bike ride, a long walk, a trip to the library or a great nap, I wrote it on my calendar.  This might be normal for some people, but for me its a little out of the ordinary.  Yes, I keep a calendar.  Yes, I put all of my important dates on it.  Yes, that is how I know where to be when.  Yes, I do live by my calendar.  But typically, I never put "me" time on there.  I would never put anything on my calendar like going bike riding or a nap.  Those are things I fit in if I have time.

This week is all about me.  I will only have time for me.  So I put everything on my calendar.  

This past week I had a few things that happened that reminded me how important my time was.  Almost every minute of my life is spent doing something for someone else.  Mostly for the boys, but there is a good portion for others.  I schedule all of that time.  My calendar gets filled quickly, and its all for other people.  Whether its soccer game, PTO, volunteering, birthday party or work.  Its not about me.  So I have decided that for now on I am putting me time on my calendar.  I am putting my bike rides on my calendar.  I am putting naps on my calendar and I am putting long walks to talk to God on my calendar.  The other stuff will have to be planned around me time.  

On the note of time, I learned something else this past week.  Not really what I was going to write about tonite, but it has been bothering me and I really do need to get it off my chest.  If I you are reading this and I am talking about you, maybe you shouldn't be reading this to begin with.  :)  It's my blog and I can talk about anything I want to.  That is what it is for.  I will never mention names if its bad - but I am sure if its about you, you will know who you are.

So what I learned.  I am someone that is almost always late.  I will surprise myself sometimes, but for the most part I am always late.  Everyone that knows me at all, knows this about me.  They pretty much expect it.  Most people will tell me things start 30 min earlier than they actually start so that I will be on time.  Sometimes I am super early! 

I come by all of this pretty naturally - my mom and dad are both the same way.  I think they are worse offenders than me.  My kids have actually missed out on getting the "Spirit Award" on more than one occasion due to be late to school (all my fault).  I have realized that I need to work on this.  Just because "I am always late" and people expect that with me, does not mean it is ok.  It's actually rude and inconsiderate.  I make people wait on me.  I never realized it because I am never the one waiting.  

The other thing I do is cancel or not show up when I am supposed to do something with someone.  I have not done this in a long time, but I have before.  I always have some "excuse" why that is, not usually the truth.  Yes, a white lie.  I don't do it because I don't want to hang out with the person or do something with the person.  It's usually because I have forgotten, made other plans because I forgot or just really don't feel like doing anything at that moment in time.  I never really thought too much about it.  I would say I am sorry and go on.  Now I know how awful that is.  I know how frustrating that is.  I know how irritating that is.  I know how worried you can get.  I know now.  I will never do that again.

The last weekend in May, I had a weekend all too myself.  The boys were in Chicago.  Because I knew I wouldn't have the boys I tried to make plans for the weekend, full of stuff I wanted to do for me.  Just like I have for this coming up week.  Most of my plans consisted of doing something with someone else.  Not all the same person or people.  Friday - I was cleaning, and preparing for dinner for Saturday night.  Saturday morning and afternoon I was going to a Personal Leadership workshop (excellent by the way and I will blog about it soon) Saturday evening I was cooking for someone, Saturday night I was going out dancing with a friend, Sunday morning off to church, Sunday afternoon a friend was coming up from Louisville, Sunday evening catch up on work and maybe a good nap.  

The weekend all unraveled, all in two big swoops - just because one person, no wait two people cancelled plans on me at the last minute.  A whole weekend to myself, ruined because of someone else.  I was so frustrated. I spent an entire week trying to figure out a menu for Saturday night, went grocery shopping for specific ingredients, test cooked the meal ahead of time to be sure it was a good recipe since I had not tried it before, stayed up late Friday to prepare everything I could because I wouldn't have much time to cook Saturday.  Then Saturday morning I got the dreaded email.  Canceling on me.  I at least appreciated the email.  There was a reason for it.  I was not mad or upset.  Disappointed, but I was ok.  He suggested Sunday evening instead.  I said ok.

So I went to church Saturday evening instead, took a nice long nap, convinced myself not to go ahead and eat the dessert I had prepared and then went out with Brenda.  I had a great time with Brenda.  Got home late and was getting ready for bed.  Then I noticed I had two text messages.  My friend from Louisville, canceling on me.  No big deal.  I had plenty to do to prepare for my dinner Sunday and this way I could sleep in.  

I got up Sunday (late), I started with a shower and took my time slowly getting ready for dinner Sunday night.  About 30 min before I was going to start cooking I texted him to be sure he was still coming.  Of course he was, I had not heard otherwise and I was sure that meant he would be there.  I left to go pick up wine glasses because I had completely forgotten I had never brought them from Chris's house and while I was there I got a text.  He was not coming.  He had not heard back from me so he made other plans.  I was so upset.  I was so disappointed.  I had been looking forward to it for a whole week.  I was crushed.  I had gone to so much effort and he didn't care.  So, of course I had to let him know.  But because we can't talk by phone, I had to email him.  I told him how upset I was.  Obviously, he cared less than I thought because he never even emailed back to say he was sorry.  Or anything at all.  

I probably shouldn't not have gotten that upset.  It was just dinner.  Who cares.  I think I was mostly upset, no, I know I was mostly upset because I had missed out my entire weekend because of someone else.  Someone that has a rep for canceling on me.  I should have known better.  I should have made back up plans.  I should never have let someone get to me like that.  I was mad at myself really - but needed to blame someone else of course :). 

Ok - I got off on a tangent (I guess I needed to get that off my chest more than I had realized).  My whole point in this is that I now know how much canceling on someone at the last minute can really ruin their entire day.  I will never do this to someone else again.  It is so frustrating.  It is so irritating and it is a big deal.  If I have ever done this to you, I am so sorry.  I am sorry for doing it, sorry for not saying I was sorry and sorry that I didn't know.  

I know how important my time is to me.  My time is very precious and I don't have much of it.  So when some of it is wasted, I know I will never get it back and it is very upsetting to me.  I now realize that EVERYONE'S time is just as precious as mine.  I promise I will never be disrespectful about it again.  I promise.  

Now I am off to begin my week of "me time" beginning with an early relaxing night in bed.

pure stubborness

I realize I was a little stubborn as a child. But if Noah took after me in that department he got it 100 times worse than I can ever imagine I was. Noah would rather sit in a chair from the time he gets home from school until he goes to bed with no end in sight than clean his room. I need to advice on what to do. I will start from the beginning.

The boys are expected to clean their room. However I let them get away with not doing it for a little while. Then it was time to clean. It was the Sunday before Easter. They had a week to clean it. Should have gotten it done in one evening. I explained to them that they could not have friends over, play on the computer, watch tv or play wii until it was clean. I couldn't take away outside play because its so good for them to play outside.

They refused to clean. In fact I think it got worse. So I told them that if they did not clean I was going to call the Easter bunny and tell him not to come. The boys got scared. Told me they were going to clean. They didn't. The next day I reminded them that the Easter bunny would not be coming if their room did not get cleaned. The day of the deadline came. The room was still not clean. I reminded them that this was their last chance. The Easter bunny was not coming if they did not clean it. In my head I was thinking the Easter bunny would visit but only bring candy.

The little spoiled brats came in the kitchen 5 min later and asked if they could ride their bikes. I reminded them again. They turned around and looked at me and said - "we don't care if the Easter bunny comes or not". I could not believe it! I was fuming. So I was determined the Easter bunny would not come. He didn't. The boys didn't seem to care. Although I can't tell you how terrible of a parent I felt like EVERY TIME someone said to them "what did the Easter bunny bring you?" and they would reply - "the Easter bunny didn't visit me".

I ended up having to clean their room because Mom and Windi were coming in to stay. I couldn't get them to clean for anything - so I HAD to do it.

Then as soon as they left the room was a disaster again. The boys have had to be without the tv, computer, wii and having friends over (or going to friends houses) since the beginning of May. They refused to clean their rooms.

Two weekends ago I had to go to a festival to help out a friend. The boys were going with me. I told the boys that if they could get their room cleaned they would each get $5.00 to spend on anything they wanted. Jonah wanted to clean, Noah didn't. I told Jonah that if he cleaned the whole room he would get all $10.00. He ended up deciding he didn't want to do it. Thats a lot of money to clean your room. Noah told me and my friend that if it was $20.00 he would have done it. I was HORRIFIED. I couldn't believe what a spoiled brat he was. I was so embarrassed.

This past week I decided I was going to do everything I could do to make them clean their room. Starting with Tuesday as soon as they came home they either started cleaning their room or they would sit in a chair until bed. If they chose to clean their room and I found them playing they got their butt spanked (I don't spank often). Noah immediately sat in his chair and said he wasn't cleaning.

I think the little sh*t realized he could sit in his chair while Jonah cleaned and when Jonah was finished he could get up and do whatever he wanted. The chair was better. So I added that if Jonah cleaned the room himself Noah would have to come home everyday for a week after the room was cleaned and sit in the chair until bed time. He chose the chair. I wanted to wring his neck. I can't believe him.

I told him it was his last chance. If he chose to stay there he couldn't wait two hours and then decide to "help" clean his room. So after thinking about it for a few minutes he decided he would clean.

The spank deal was still on. I believe I had to spank them at least 10-15 different times. They were just playing and playing. I was at my witts end. I was out of ideas. I was already trying to help them by splitting up the room to help them start somewhere. Which seemed to help a little at first. But it didn't take long before they were bored of that and started playing again.

I finally decided to tell them they had 45 min. Whatever toys were in the floor after that were going to be thrown away. The didn't seem to care. So every 10 min I came up to tell them how much more time they had and to "get a look at how big the trash bag should be". As time was dwindling down Jonah started freaking out. He kept saying "people paid money for these toys, and you are going to waste their money by throwing the toys away". I was bawling. Noah could have cared less. Poor Jonah was so scared it was going to happen he couldn't pull himself together to clean. Noah could have cared less.

Finally Jonah went over to Noah and attacked him. He was so mad at Noah for not caring. He did what I so felt like I needed to do. Noah was a little shocked. I broke it up and Noah was now ready to help clean. 15 min later - the room was clean. I can't believe it.

So next time I guess I will have to start with threatening to throw their toys away and let Jonah take it all out on Noah. :) I am so thankful I finally got them to clean their room, but I am astonished at the fact it took so much to get them to clean it.

I think I am in for a run for my money. The boys are not bad boys. Actually, they are usually very well behaved - but they are so stinking stubborn - especially Noah.

I didn't give in for any of it. So its not like I was just throwing out threats. I followed through on everything. EVERY THING. The Easter bunny did NOT come. Thats a huge deal for me.

I thought this would get easier. It only gets bigger and different. I would love to hear your parenting struggles, maybe it will help me get ideas on how to handle the boys.